Never Quite Enough

At first, perfection actually sounds like a good thing. Everyone has looked at that one kid in class who just gets everything right and thought, "Yeah, I wish I were like that." I've thought that too.

So you try to get there. You stay up late, you study more than you usually would, and for a moment it feels like you're doing everything right. But the next day, right before the test or even during it, that confidence just disappears. Instead of thinking about what you know, you start wondering what you don't know. Did I miss something? Should I have studied more?

And that's when it starts to feel off. The goal was to do well, but somehow it turned into needing to be perfect—and now even being prepared doesn't feel like enough.

*

And that feeling doesn't just stay in school.

It shows up in the smallest things. Even something that's supposed to be relaxing—like cooking—can turn stressful the moment you expect it to be perfect. You spend time trying to get everything exactly right, measuring everything carefully, following every step, and somehow it still doesn't come out the way you imagined.

And the worst part isn't that it's bad—it's that it's not perfect.

That's when it starts to feel ridiculous. Something that was literally supposed to be enjoyable turns into something you judge yourself over. Not because you failed, but because you didn't meet some unrealistic standard you set in your own head.

At some point, it stops being about doing things well and starts being about chasing something that doesn't even really exist. The journey to attain perfection also fosters a desensitized mind. You likely have had moments in your childhood when you were afraid of inflicting harm or causing someone or something pain. For example, when you are younger, the things that upset you are so small; I used to be very protective of my toys, and if anyone touched them or I accidentally dropped them, then I would feel so guilty and cry. Most of us can relate to this, but now think about how the standard that saddens us has shifted as our expectations and goals have changed.

*

This idea gets even weirder the more you think about it. I remember reading Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace, and one detail stuck with me: lobsters are often cooked alive because that’s considered the "freshest" and therefore the best way to prepare them.

And it's kind of unsettling when you actually stop and think about it. The lobster isn't just sitting there—it's reacting, trying to escape, basically doing exactly what any of us would do in that situation.

Which makes you wonder: how far are we willing to go just to meet some idea of "perfect"?

At some point, it stops being about quality and starts being about chasing a standard that keeps getting pushed further, even when it doesn't really make things better.




When acts that cause visible distress are reframed as "wholesome family fun," it shows just how far the pursuit of perfection has blurred the fine line between the humane and the inhumane.

*

School is probably where this shows up the most.

A lot of students don't just want to do well anymore—they want to be perfect. That means the A+, the highest score, the version of themselves that never messes up.

But the closer you get to that, the more it feels like the standard shifts. You get a good grade, and suddenly that's just expected. You do well, and instead of feeling satisfied, you start thinking about what you could've done better.

It's weird because nothing actually changed—you still did well. But it doesn't feel like enough anymore.

At some point, you're not even working toward a goal. You're just trying to keep up with expectations that keep moving, and no matter how much effort you put in, it never really feels finished.

*

People deal with this in different ways. Some get obsessed with being better than everyone else, and others just try to meet whatever standard is in front of them. Either way, it stops being about what you want and starts being about keeping up.

It's the same pattern: once you reach one version of "perfect," there's always another one waiting.

The strange part is, perfection never actually feels like something you reach. It just keeps moving.

And maybe that's the problem. Not that we can't get there, but that we keep chasing it.